Fanservice
by Winddrag0n
Summary: Dark and Krad get sucked inside a painting, and... well, the name explains it all. Sort of a really bad T rating.


I know, I know. I came up with this idea last (school) year, and I'm finally typing it. Well, I totally forgot how we came up with this, but's it was cool... maybe Krad remembers. Ask her. It really doesn't need much of an introduction...

Oh, and it makes the story funnier if Dark and Krad act like they do in the manga. Basically, they are _not_ madly in love with each other. -GASP- I know, I know. Just read and you'll get your fangirl fix. Oh, and they do share bodies with Daisuke and Satoshi, at least in the beginning.

Oh! _Italics_ when not used to emphasize is Daisuke/Satoshi inside their heads.

-- means new line, etc.

Disclaimer: Me, own _this_? Bwahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa... Yeah right.

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--"Another painting..." Dark grumbled. Emiko was sending him on another of her house-decorating sprees, and the last thing on the list was yet another painting. He honestly thought she had some sort of painting fetish. Regardless, the sooner he stole it, the sooner he could go home and sleep.

--_Stop complaining, Dark,_ Daisuke muttered. _It's not that bad._

--"You're only saying that because you're trying to _sleep_! You don't have to steal all of this crap! If it was _your_ job, you wouldn't... hey Daisuke? _Daisuke!_" He was answered by a light snoring sound. Dark sighed, and muttered darkly all the way to the museum.

--Still muttering, Dark skillfully evaded traps and made his way to the room the painting was in. _There it is!_ Daisuke shouted, suddenly awake. He was looking at a painting of a beautiful icy snowfield, with an ice cave barely visible in the backround.

--"I know," Dark whispered fiercely. "Let's just get it and leave before..." There was a loud crash, and Dark whipped around. "...damn."

--"Hello, _Dark_." Krad sneered.

--"Krad." Dark eyed his surroundings, trying to figure out the best time to make a break for the painting. He determined that there wasn't one, threw a feather at Krad, and tried it anyways.

--_You got it!_ Daisuke cried happily.

--"Hey, I did!" Dark had one hand on the painting, honestly surprised he had pulled it off. He soon realized he hadn't when he tried to pull it away and noticed Krad had grabbed the other end of it. "Let go!" Dark yelled, pulling it towards him.

--"No!" Krad yelled back, pulling it back towards him. They were soon engaged in a fierce tug-of-war battle over the painting.

--_God, kill me now..._ Satoshi moaned.

--_Hey, Dark, maybe you shouldn't do that..._ Daisuke warned. _It could have magical propertes._

--Dark was about to hiss a reply when suddenly the painting exploaded with light. "...OH SHI--" Dark never got to finish his comment, because he and Krad (who looked _very_ pissed) were surrounded by the light as well. The light soon dissipated, taking Dark and Krad with it. Daisuke and Satoshi were left staring at the painting, dumbfounded.

--"Uh... w-what just happened?" Daisuke stammered.

--Satoshi camly bent over and picked up the painting. "Fanservice..." he muttered.

--"What?"

--"The name of the painting. It's called Fanservice."

--"Odd." They both stood there in silence, realizing what this must mean.

--"Well, lets let them have their fun then. Want to go get something to eat?"

--"Sure!" They both left the museum, taking the painting with them.

------And now the fun begins...------

--"Nn... where am I?" Dark stood up groggily. He shook the snow off him, and...

--"Wait, snow!" Dark yelled. "WHAT THE FU--"

--"Quiet. I have a headache." Krad stood up carefully, eyeing their surroundings. "Looks like we were sucked into the painting."

--"Well, what should we do?" Dark said desperately.

--"We need shelter. Looks like there's a storm coming."

--"Hmm... wait, there was a cave in the painting!" Dark looked around, and sure enough, there was a nice ice cave not too far off.

--"Let's go then." They walked in silence to the cave, and gratefully walked in.

--"Hmm... wierd."

--Krad looked at Dark. "What's wierd?" he asked.

--"Felt something wierd as we walked inside."

--"Shelter is shelter. Deal with it." They sat down, and soon Dark started to shiver.

--"Hnn... cold..." he chattered.

--"Well, I've got a lighter, but nothing to burn," Krad offered.

--They thought, but came up with no solution.

--"Clothes," Krad said at last. "We can burn our clothes."

--" ...'kay." They both stripped down to their underwear, piled all the clothes inbetween them, and Krad lit it on fire. Against all logic, it continued to burn strongly for quite some time. However, despite this, Dark was soon shivering again.

--"Hnn... still cold..." he moaned. "Look, how convenient... A leather jacket and pants. I guess I can wear them for some extra warmth." He stood up, picked up the pants, and slowly started pulling them on. "They're a little _small_... oh well." After the (unbelievably tight) pants were on, he started with the (even tighter) jacket. Once this was on as well, he sat down again, somehow miraculously able to move comfortably in his 'clothes'.

--They sat in silence for a bit longer, and Krad seemed to be trying rather hard to restrain himself.

--"Oh, but now I'm too _hot..._" Dark _very_ slowly and sensually started easing the jacket off his body.

--"Oh, FUCK IT!" Krad pounced, and ripped the jacket off of Dark. He absentmindedly tossed it into the fire without even looking. "Pants. Off. _Now._"

--"But the _zipper's_ stuck..." Dark moaned.

--Krad thought for a moment. "I'll do it. Oh, but look at this! My hands have been frozen solid. Guess I'll have to use my _teeth_." The pants were soon shed, and cast into the fire. Dark shivered.

--"I'm _cold_ again," he moaned. He seemed to have lost the ability to do anything _but_ moan.

--"Well, we must share our body warmth then." They, without hesitation, tightly embraced each other for 'heat'.

--Krad thought. "Underwear's in the way."

--"Yeah."

--The obstruction was soon cast into the fire. The firelight danced off the figures of the two men as their bodies entwined loveingly, caught up in the passion of the... etc, etc.

--insert lemon here

--BAM!

--A door suddenly opened in the ice behind them. Daisuke, Satoshi, and Emiko stood in the doorway, staring at the boys.

--"Oh my!" Emiko blushed. "...where's my camera!"

--"Way ahead of you," Satoshi replied, snapping a few (rolls of) pictures. "I can get so much money off of these..."

--Dark and Krad seemed to suddenly come to their senses. "WHAT THE _HELL!_" Dark cried, jumping backwards. "WHERE THE _HECK_ ARE ALL MY CLOTHES!"

--Krad looked like he was going to kill something. "What... just happened..." The look on his face was one that you tend to run away from when you see.

--"Here!" Daisuke hurridly tossed them each a bathrobe, which the put on as quickly as they could. "Now come out of that painting, _please._ I honestly think I've been scarred for life." The two men couldn't get out of the panting fast enough, and were soon re-joined with Daisuke and Satoshi. Emiko grabbed the camera out of Satoshi (who was actually now Krad)'s hands and ran away with it.

--Later, when they were clothed, (Krad was borrowing some of Dark's clothing), Dark and Krad were sitting in silence at the kitchen table, trying to forget what had happened. Krad looked at Dark, and Dark looked at Krad.

--"...let us never speak of this again." Krad whispered.

--"Agreed."

--They never would have, if it wasn't for the fact that Dark found the pictures on the internet a few days later...

-FIN-

A/N: Oh... my god... this was SO much fun to write...


End file.
